Blog


Failure, Grit, Resilience

Jalama Beach, CA

It is now acceptable, even recommended to fail. This is how we learn, build resilience, and acquire grit. It sounds great ,right? Fail spectacularly and then rise from the ashes to be reborn better, stronger, and smarter.

 

One of my most spectacular failures was my first real job out of college. I was the kitchen manager of a restaurant in a resort town. My qualifications? Only that my best friend owned the restaurant. Yes, I had worked in food service for many years, and this was an existing restaurant with a simple menu. However beyond food preparation, I had little experience in managing people, working with vendors, coordinating with other managers.

 

On the bright side, I was earnest and very hardworking.

 

I did not even last a year and I quit. I felt terrible. I let my friend down. I worked to the point of exhaustion and yet never seemed to gain the traction I thought mattered. The fun-loving kitchen staff thought I was a humorless, taskmaster which I was at times.

 

I returned to Southern California. I was miserable. My failure did not seem like this wonderful growth experience. I was ashamed and unsure of myself. 

 

Without a real plan for the next step in my ‘career’, I stopped by my high school and visited with one of my favorite teachers. She told me about a friend of hers who was looking for someone. I made the call, set up an interview, and was hired as a retail manager for an independent toy and book store. 

 

I remember thinking, “ I really have no business being a manager. I suck at managing. What am I doing?”. The good news is that my new boss clearly saw something in me that I could not see. The better news is that I had learned from my epic restaurant fail. 

 

I learned how to ask questions. Good leaders do not have all the answers.

 

I learned how to delegate and recognize other people’s strengths. Good leaders hire people better than themselves. Good leaders bring out the best in their teams.

 

I learned humility. Good leaders are willing to do themselves anything they would ask of a teammate.

 

So, yes. Failures do provide wonderful learning opportunities. In my experience, it takes a little time. Be kind to yourself immediately following a failure, big or small. Surround yourself with good people. Don’t isolate yourself; this is when you lean on your mentors, friends, family. Share your story; I guarantee you that everyone has an ‘epic fail’.

 

In gratitude,

Kristan


Slow down to go fast

Slow down to go fast. I love this saying. The first time I really ‘heard’ this in a way that I could integrate into something immediately was on Tim Ferriss’ podcast. He was interviewing Dave Elitch whose exact words were ‘Slow down. Do it again.’

 

We are all busy. The number one thing my coaching clients lament is how little time there is in a day. We confuse urgent and important. We have been trained to think that being productive is the main objective which often sacrifices effective.

 

What does ‘slow down to go fast’ look like to me? The simplest answer is systems. I teach the 4 S’s of Success and no surprise that the first ‘S’ is systems. Identifying the need for a system, developing a system, and then periodically evaluating the systems all takes time. Many business owners feel like they are trying to walk through molasses when in the creation and implementation phase of systems development. However, I am here to affirm that it is worth it! Stay the course. 

 

Why?

Let’s start with what deserves a system-anything you have done more than once.

Meaning once a system is in place then you can easily replicate the desired result, you can teach someone else to do this task in a much shorter amount of time, you clear your schedule and your mind for actual income producing activities or creative daydreaming. 

These are just a few of the myriad of reasons you want to slow down and development systems for your business in order to go fast.

 

In gratitude,

Kristan


Space

When and how do you create space for yourself each day? We know that we are all receiving an overload of information. If you live in a populated area then chances are silence is hard to come by too.

 

Why is it important to create space in our day?

-better decision making

-releases tension in our bodies

-increases our problem-solving abilities

-helps us to gain perspective

-assists in rewiring the brain

 

How do you ‘fit’ space into your day?

-before you get out of bed inhale and exhale 10 deep breathes

-before you fall asleep inhale and exhale 10 deep breathes

-set an alarm or reminder on your phone 

-allow time after a meal to daydream

-before you get out of your car pause, close your eyes, and breathe

 

What does space look like?

-an early morning walk

-sitting outside

-a hug from a loved one

-closing your eyes for a minute

-stretching your arms to the sky and/or to your toes

-laying on the floor for 5 minutes

 

Where can you get space?

-anywhere

 

Find your space today.

 

In gratitude,

 

Kristan


I don’t do dead things…

I don’t do dead things…Once upon a time I wanted to be a doctor and then I realized that I could not handle the blood or dead things.  I even paid my 6 year old son to pick up a dead bird that was outside my bedroom window; I had already unsuccessfully tried to pick it up earlier in the day.

Last week  I was walking along my usual route, crossing the Colorado Street Bridge. The walkway is narrow; recently made even more narrow by the chainlink fence installed to keep people from committing suicide. On my walk this day, I see a gray blob on the sidewalk in front of me. Immediately, I am thinking that it is something dead and I am worried about walking past it with the dog. Truth be told, I am more worried about me than the dog. Unless I am willing to turn around and go home a different way, I am going to have to walk past this ‘dead’ thing. As I get closer, I am doing the trick I use when I am watching a scary movie where I watch just a part of the screen or take a quick glimpse so as to avoid the full scare. I am looking to see exactly what type of dead thing this is.

I finally get close enough to identify the carcass-a dead tangle of wire screen.

I laughed at myself. How interesting it is that we have a tendency to see what we fear when we are not sure what we are really seeing. This led me to think about other ways my theory plays out in our work and lives. Possibly the most potentially damaging application of looking through our ‘fear’ goggles are the interactions we have with colleagues, friends, family-our daily interactions. When we misread a look, a comment, an email and immediately fill in the blank with what we fear most. What if we allowed ourselves to consider that instead of the worst case scenario happening, the best case scenario just happened? What if we remained curious, allowed ourselves to ask a question? How much more interesting would our lives be if we retired our ‘fear’ goggles?

In gratitude,

Kristan


The Day After….Tax Day. Let’s Talk Money.

Tax day is a day when money is top of mind. The day after, I invite you to consider money and especially our feelings, restraints, and limiting beliefs around money.

Limiting beliefs-this is such a buzz word and a bit new agey, AND it is our sticky and sticking points where old habits, inherited behaviors, and unproductive patterns get in our way.

Let me just be clear, this is an area I constantly work on or am mindful of in my own life. The old stuff is pretty deep and just when you think you have made progress then a new challenge presents itself. Funny how, if we process a certain level of awareness then we are continually presented the opportunity to learn.

As a coach and consultant I am allowed to peek behind the curtain on all aspects of my clients’ businesses and lives. I am witness to a lot of the ways in which we perpetuate our complicated relationship with money.

So of the most common self-inflicted wounds are:

-Undervaluing your services. I see this most commonly with creative people who are really good at what they do and completely lose sight of the fact that other people-their clients, do not possess these gifts and are willing to pay for fill in the blank (of what you do).

-Being vague about finances. If you are unclear about your financial situation then how do you make the best choices with your resources? This would be like a surgeon who thinks there is something wrong with your abdominal area and is ready to open you up. Wouldn’t you rather a surgeon who knows exactly which organ needs attention thus having a specific procedure in place with the necessary support team and tools?

-Ignoring your trifecta of resources-Time, Talent, and Treasure(Money). Yes, we all know the phrase time is money. Do you consistently look at your goals, your to-do list, your commitments through the lens of whether or not your time is being spent on income producing activities? Do you recognize the ROI of spending time to train someone to do a task that would free up more of your time for higher level activities? Do you take the time to record your procedures in order to avoid reinventing the wheel each day? Are you overly focused on income while ignoring your expenses?

 

I can help. Let’s talk money and whatever else is keeping your business from growing in a meaningful way.

In gratitude,

Kristan


Spaghetti on the Wall Guided Discernment

Daily Quote

1/18/2019

“Beauty attracts beautiful thoughts.” African Proverb, African Wisdom for Life, A Calendar Compiled by Annetta Miller

To-Do:

Try something new today.

Greet everyone you encounter today with eye contact and your smile.

What is beautiful to you? What moves you?

Embrace beauty in your life.

Today I learned________________________.

Today I loved it when______________________________________________________________.

Today I wish I could have done more of_________________________________________________________________.

Enjoy!

In gratitude,

Kristan Browne

kristan@attriniti.com


Spaghetti on the Wall Guided Discernment

Daily Quote

1/8/2019

“Any calabah with a bottom can stand upright.” Kenyan Proverb, African Wisdom for Life, A Calendar Compiled by Annetta Miller

To-Do:

Pick a word for the Day.

Greet everyone you encounter today with eye contact and your smile.

5 Moments of Genius.

5 Moments of Discomfort.

Today I learned________________________.

Today I loved it when______________________________________________________________.

Today I wish I could have done more of_________________________________________________________________.

Enjoy!

In gratitude,

Kristan Browne

kristan@attriniti.com


Spaghetti On the Wall Guided Discernment

Daily Quote

1/7/2019

‘It is through small things that a village is established.” Ghanaian Proverb, African Wisdom for Life, A Calendar Compiled by Annetta Miller

To-Do:

Greet everyone you encounter today with eye contact and your smile.

Take 3 deeps breaths before each meal.

Top 5 Moments of the Day-Be on the lookout.

Today I learned________________________.

Today I loved it when______________________________________________________________.

Today I wish I could have done more of_________________________________________________________________.

Enjoy!

In gratitude,

Kristan Browne

kristan@attriniti.com


Spaghetti on the Wall Guided Discernment

Daily Quote

1/10/2019

“Footprints in the sands of time are not made sitting down.” Liberian Proverb, African Wisdom for Life, A Calendar Compiled by Annetta Miller

To-Do:

Try something new today.

Greet everyone you encounter today with eye contact and your smile.

Where did your feet take you today?

What was one of your favorite trips? Least favorite?

Today I learned________________________.

Today I loved it when______________________________________________________________.

Today I wish I could have done more of_________________________________________________________________.

Enjoy!

In gratitude,

Kristan Browne

kristan@attriniti.com


Spaghetti on the Wall Guided Discernment

Daily Quote

1/9/2019

“Wisdom is like a baobab tree, a single person’s hand cannot embrace it.” Ghanaian Proverb, African Wisdom for Life, A Calendar Compiled by Annetta Miller

To-Do:

Pick a word for the Day.

Greet everyone you encounter today with eye contact and your smile.

Did you ask for help today?

What did it feel like?

Did you collaborate with someone today?

Did you enjoy it? Describe the experience.

Today I learned________________________.

Today I loved it when______________________________________________________________.

Today I wish I could have done more of_________________________________________________________________.

Enjoy!

In gratitude,

Kristan Browne

kristan@attriniti.com